she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
