sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
