It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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