If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just high enough for therapy.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
