I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
