matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
