you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
