Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
