there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
