I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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