I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
God, I missed his penis.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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