im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
