And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize