hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
