eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
