Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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