What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
