We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
