He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
