when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
did you just send me my own nude
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
