Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
