It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
