Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
