i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i think we sleep fucked last night...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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