My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
