The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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