Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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