is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
