I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
