dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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