she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
