So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
