i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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