3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
