Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
