Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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