we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
