Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The air taste purple.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
