No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
