Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
