I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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