Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
