I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize