capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize