Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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