whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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