sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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