Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
