just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
