his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
