Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
