She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
