So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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