I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
