That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize