He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
