Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
