i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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