Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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