Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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