I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
