You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize